My Joy

I laid down with Zachary this afternoon to take a nap but I can't sleep. I've laid here watching him sleep and memorizing ever adorable inch of him as the tears have flowed. I have never in my life wanted to do something for someone else. I wish I could take on this surgery for him. He has been through so much in his short little life. I have questioned him having this surgery a million times over. I know he needs it. I don't doubt God's sovereignty in this. He hasn't brought him this far to let him down now. I just don't want him to suffer, to hurt, to experience anything but joy. But, this week he will hurt. That is inevitable. I always wondered if people who adopt can love a child they didn't give birth to as much as one you did. I have to say, you can. With everything in me my love for this child is no different than that of my girls. He just came into our family in a much different way. He has been such an example to me. Life has dealt him blow after blow. He shouldn't even be alive. Life support was almost removed numerous times because it all seemed so hopeless. But, he is here and he is thriving. And by some miracle God brought him to us. There are no words that can ever express my gratitude to God for that. For allowing me the privilege and honor of being this child's mommy. But, Tuesday I will let him out of my arms into the arms of doctors I know well and trust completely. There will be ICU nurses, my friends, that will take care him will diligent love and care, and will also be there for me. He has been prayed over so many times and I know that the prayers for him will continue this week. God has something so amazing for this child. We all have a front row seat for it. So, continue to pray. Pray for this precious child. Pray like never before.